DOTW: The day she became free

Screams.

She always woke up to screams, growling or howling that made her blood freeze. Sometimes pain soaked trough every little tone made, followed by the sound of a body throwing itself left and right on the cold stone that was part of this cave.

Quilo raised up slowly, her slender body looked too thin and too small for her long legs. Her juvenile proportions made her look horrendous, she knew that; she was reminded of that every day. She looked too thin, her pelt looked too “blue” to show her clean Highblood blood, her own ideas of what was she should become didn’t match those plans and expectations her mother had. And now that her father was slowly losing his health, his pelt becoming grayer with each week that passed, his memories slowly fading away, besides two ones...memories about his mate, and his only daughter.

-Dad? Are you in pain? I can go get someone if you need…- she started talking silently but was interrupted before she had time to finish it. Her voice, silent and insecure as always, echoed lightly in the cave before it was killed by her father’s growling. His eyes were staring at her with such intensity she thought she was talking to the devil himself and not her own kin. His hate for her grew since the day she was born, no matter how proud he had been that he had a pup, he never let her live it down she was the wrong gender. Wrong coat colour. And wrong personality. Only her eyes had been praised through the years, the only “Pure” look of a wolf that came from Highvalley.

-Why are you still here? I told you to go. I want to leave this damn cave without you staring at me. I have had you by my side the past six months, day and night. Do this, do that…

The aging gray wolf snorted, his disgust heard miles away. Quilo lowered her head, her body trembling in fear for the rage the elder felt for her. Part of her hated him. Her old self, that part her mother forced her to hide in a hole she made her to dig, dig deep enough to keep sun and the moon from discovering it, and until it was dark enough to kill off any will she had to stay as she was. What was left was a nutshell that was filled with thin air and strands of her personality her parents wanted to keep… the rest was replaceable.

-I can’t just leave you here. Alone. Mother…

-Oh, don’t you dare to say her name…or bring her up. You destroyed her!

-She was my mother.

-She was my mate.

-I just wanted to help you. I didn’t carry those meat pieces each night for fun. I didn’t run around back and forth with messages because it was fun.

-Never asked for your help. I asked you to leave. So go!

There had been days she felt sorry for him and wished he got better. Other days… other days her tiredness made her wish he died in his sleep. Go away to whatever place he was heading. Wherever wolves went after their death. Eternal rest was the last thing she wanted for him to have. If she could choose, she would send him straight to hell. If she did, she would go down with him. He would grab her by her tail or leg and drag her down in the pits laughing, probably enjoying the look on her face when she disappeared.

She should have walked away in silence, but something inside her snapped. She was tired of being blamed, being the cursed one, the one who took his hate. For the first time in forever her blood boiled, her growl escaped her like it did many moons ago, her stance became more secure and threatening.

-I didn’t ask to be born. The only thing I wanted was for you to see me for who I am. Your only daughter!

-So you are. The stain of my clean bloodline. If you at least had gray fur. If you could just… be a male. After all those years talking with my mate, you still behave like a tyrant.

-I do. You should know why. You made me life trough hell since the day I was born.

Her voice was shaking, but she wasn’t screaming. She came closer ignoring his growling, her own boiling blood and her own hate that grew.

She wouldn’t sink that low.

Just as expected of her, Quilo stayed by her father's side, hearing his heartbeat slowly die out.

He died while the moon was slowly going down. Not bothering about how many of her packmates she would wake up, Quilo raised her head to the sky and howled until her lungs almost burst.

Her father had wished for a son.

When she came, she crushed his dream.

Her father dreamed of a son, with a pelt as light as the snow, that was strong and worthy of being called Highblood.

When she came, her pelt was darker than snow, and with a hint of odd, bluish tone.

Her father wanted a son to continue his precious clean bloodline… what he got instead, was a daughter…. that failed to fulfil his and his mates dreams in every way possible.

Besides her eyes.

It was the only thing that he cherished, and the moon would be forever her reminder of what was important.

The moon was now her everlasting guardian who rewarded her… or punished her.

She was free, but she didn’t feel free.

Gaining freedom when your kin died linked one to them forever with chains.

Chains that one day would drag her down into hell.